The why thingy because of because independent thinking reasoning idea hardwork carefully pay attention hahahhahahahhaha

(Drabble) Unloved



Ketika mendengar berita kematian Tatsuya, gadis itu memilih tidak percaya. Ia tertawa dan menuduh temannya berdusta. “Kau pasti mengada-ada!”. Baginya, dunia ini adalah kebohongan, dan berita bahwa Tatsuya bunuh diri itu pastilah salah satu kebohongan juga.


Tetapi temannya tidak ikut tertawa, pun tautan alisnya tak jua mengendur. “Aku serius”, ucap temannya penuh penekanan. Gadis itu kembali mencari sisa-sisa petunjuk bahwa temannya berbohong, tetapi segala yang tersirat di sana hanya kejujuran. Lalu seketika gadis itu tersadar: Tatsuya benar-benar sudah pergi.

Ia terdiam sangat lama, membeku, seperti embun di musim dingin. Telinganya berdengung kencang hingga ia tak bisa mendengar apapun. Terakhir kali ia bertemu Tatsuya adalah di pertengahan musim semi dua bulan yang lalu. Hari yang terlalu indah untuk putus cinta sesungguhnya, tetapi tak ada yang bisa ia perbuat ketika pemuda berambut cokelat terang dan bertato ular itu memilih meninggalkannya. Ia tak pernah cukup baik untuk Tatsuya.

“Tapi kenapa?”, gadis itu mendapati suaranya begitu berat dan lirih layaknya radio tua yang dipaksa berbunyi. Baginya, sangat sulit untuk membayangkan alasan mengapa Tatsuya—si pemuda urakan yang selalu semaunya sendiri itu—harus memilih mati. Tatsuya bukan tipe orang yang berdiam diri di pojok ruangan dan berkutat dengan pemikirannya sendiri. Ia tipe yang gemar mengumpat ketika marah, meninju pipi orang hingga tangannya sendiri berdarah. Ia suka memacu motornya dengan kecepatan ekstrim dan menenggak alkohol hingga matahari terbit. Di dalam rokoknya bukan tembakau, dan di dalam dirinya bukan air yang tenang. Bunuh diri adalah hal terakhir yang bisa gadis itu pikirkan tentang Tatsuya.

“Kau yakin itu bukan kecelakaan? Atau pembunuhan? Atau overdosis?”. Baginya, alasan-alasan itu jauh lebih masuk akal ketimbang bunuh diri.


(Flashfic) Last Flower



I was walking through Pleasance Street when I realized that the road was wet. Rain had just stopped, but the cloud and the cold were still there. Hanging above my head like a massive black umbrella. A puddle stared at the empty vast galaxy, waiting for the stars to fall on its surface. But all I can see there were the dimmed street lamp and loneliness. And myself. And the loneliness within. (more…)

Life is Pretty Colorful Here


This city is lovely. It’s full of classic buildings that give Victorian era vibes, people of all races, sound of various languages, and of course, sophisticated public facilities. The cold wind blows strongly every day which makes me lazy to go out of my big-but-shabby flat. This is bad! There are a lot to explore , yet I keep cuddling under the duvet while enjoying some chocolates. Moreover, my lovely slender(?) legs hurt so much for climbing hills almost every morning. lol

Anywaaaayy, I went to Princes Street a few days ago and realized that it is really a sinful place for people on budget like me. From not-so-branded to luxurious items, from high street to high end, from Primark to Topshop, I found everything there. And damn, the price sounds pretty reasonable here >< I had to hold back the urge to grab everything and put them in my basket. Whenever luxurious things sparkled in front of my eyes while waving its discount tag, I had to tell myself “You don’t need it, girl! You already have one at home. Look! The price is not as cheap as it seems once you convert it to Rupiah. better save up your money!”. Oh, I wanna cry TT_TT (more…)

This cute gg caught my attention..

Oh My Girl recently released a song entitled Aing n it’s heavenly pretty and fresh💝💝💝💝 As expected, they always have the best concept, MV, n song. It’s a shame that they haven’t won on any music programㅠㅠ
Anyway, I want to hug Oh My Girl’s members because they are too cute><

Novel please!


Akhir-akhir ini saya ga bisa nemu novel yang menarik buat dibaca huhu. Ada yang punya rekomendasi novel bagus dan asyik dibaca? Preferably novel yg alurnya ga klise dan mengandung karakter2 kompleks. It can be romance, thriller, fantasy, or anything as long as the story makes sense. Novel bagus yang  terakhir saya baca itu novelnya Haruki Murakami Norwegian Wood (it’s the best novel so far). Pengen beli novel2 dia yang lain terutama After Dark n Hard-boiled Wonderland but his books are freaking expensive I wanna cry (ಥ_ಥ)


Dear Me, …


Dear Me,

How are you today? Are you good?

I know life is getting tougher and tougher as you get older, but you have to be strong. You are not a weak person and even in the past, you have always been this stubborn with what you want. Yeah, do you still remember how you frequently got into a quarrel with your Mom just because she didn’t support your wish to study at your dream university? Yeah, it was a tough moment of teenage life, right? And with all those difficulties, you still managed to achieve your dream and accomplished it successfully. Do you know why?


My New Biases

It’s so random, but I want to post this… I’m currently into many new girlgroup and has been fascinated to see cute and lovely styles of them lol. So here they are… I know no one cares about this, but I just wanna post post and post… 55555


Guess who they are😄

It’s difficult…



I know everyone has its own share of hard times and good times, happiness and difficulties, yet it is so difficult for me to balance between ambition and gratitude. What do I want to reach with all these sufferings? Do I deserve it? Should I just stop and accept everything as it is? When should I stop to thrive, and when should I strive for my aspirations?


Why do other people have it easy when I don’t?

Or is it just me who overlooked their complicated journey?


O God, I know there are so many lessons that I need to learn in life, so please keep me alive and kicking T^T

Btw, it’s rainy season and the mood to write is always there, but my mind is flying to another place -_-